Finally, the wait is over and your loved one will soon be back home. You think back to all the sleepless nights, depressive episodes, and ever-present emptiness you felt while they were away. You're excited about this new chapter and can't wait to have them back in your tender arms. Yet, in the midst of these warm memories, you think about what they must have faced while they were away.
You wonder what may have changed about them and you feel unsettled because you don't know what to expect. You are not sure how to receive them, how to help them transition and get back their lives, and how to connect the dots. You hope that you both would return to the same emotional level that you were on in the past; but you don't know how to make that happen.
This is entirely normal, and you have to take things slow and go easy on yourself. By the end of this article, you will be better mentally prepared, to receive your returning beloved and re-establish that emotional connection.
The very first step is to make sure that you are in the right state of mind to receive a long (or short)- gone loved one. Simply, do not put too much pressure on yourself in the buildup to the homecoming.
Even if you are going to be involved in any of the release processes, make sure to focus on your specific role and not overstretch yourself. Instead, invest yourself in reviving and sustaining the relationship. Let’s take a cue from Ro Clausen, Co-Founder of Strong Prison Wives and Families, who reunited and reconnected with her husband after he overcame a 213-year prison sentence.
This is what she had to say:
“I wish I at that point I knew that (I just had to) leave that to the experts. (You should) do what you have to do, and make yourself knowledgeable, but don’t stop living your life and making this relationship your whole entire life.”
Absence, they say, makes the heart grow fonder, and it is not any different in this case. It is most likely that just as you can not wait to be reunited with them, they equally are eager to be back in your company.
When it comes to mental strength and psychology, we are not all wired the same. You will have to exercise a great deal of patience with them, as some of their reactions and level of openness (which even they are still trying to figure out) may seem distant.
Whatever may be going on in the short while after their return, know that they genuinely love you and appreciate all of your efforts. This is according to someone who has been there, as Ro also says:
“You are gold to them for getting them through that, and just (exercise) patience, patience, and patience.”
So that will be it. With proper pre-return work and diligent patience, you and other people who are part of the relationship will overcome the initial friction and feel wholesome and like a unit again.
And don’t forget, love conquers all!